Father. My own father doesn't want to recognize me as his son. I heard from Bernard that he resigned his position as the DHC. Am I such an embarrassment to him to resign like that. After that, I didn't hear any news about him at all. Bernard had happiness painted all over his face. The people from this world were amazed at me. A savage in the Brave New World. People finally get to see what a savage looks like. Bernard looks like he is enjoying his fame as well. Linda on the other hand, spends her days in a "soma holiday." No one wants to see my mother. I don't know why.
They showed me where this society comes form. It sickens me. Everyone looks the same. No one is different. “O brave new world that has such people in it.” I refuse to take this drug called Soma. It just doesn't feel right. Many people take it. My mother takes it constantly. After watching the effect on Linda, I don't want to get involved with it. I visited Eton the other day. The "Alpha" children were watching one of our rituals on film. One of the sacrifices we do. They laughed. They laughed and laughed and laughed. Why? Why is it so humorous? Are we that strange to them? I didn't like their humor at all.
Lenina took me to see one of these things called "feelys." It was a strange experience. It was called Three Weeks In A Helicopter. It plot revolves around a darked-skinned man who kidnaps a blond woman for his on enjoyment. It was uncomfortable. But, it made me feel this passion towards Lenina. A passion so deep, it made me feel so overwhelmed. I cant do this. I cant. She wanted to have sex with me, but, I refused. I cant do this. I locked myself up in my room and read Othello. All this mixed emotions were too much for me. Too much. I'm sorry Lenina.
Tuesday, April 23, 2013
Father
Bernard left today for something but I don't know what it was for. Earlier when we came back to one of the rest houses Lenin took some of these pills. I don't know what it was for but she looked like she was enjoying herself. I was scared that they left me there and not keep their promise. I broke into one of the cabins. It was Lenina's cabin. I rifled through her things. They were so delicate and sweet smelling. They felt amazing. Then, I found her sleeping soundly in her bed. She looked beautiful. Amazing. I leaned in to touch her, but, I stopped myself because I felt it didn't feel right. I heard a buzzing sound outside and figured out it was Bernard. I escaped just in time. He didn't even notice.
We went to the Other Side. It was beautiful to see all those buildings and airplanes. Everything looked so tall and dominant. The skyscrapers touching the skies made me feel small. Everything was so technologically advanced. It was just like Linda said when she told me those stories. I turned to look at her and she was crying. I figured it was of happiness. Her face was full of tears and happiness. She finally was home. We finally arrived at a place where humans are born. Bernard told us to wait outside the door. On the way here, he promised me he would finally let me see my father. How long I awaited his presence. I finally get to see my father. After I while, I heard some yelling. It settled down not long after. He finally told us to come in. My father was standing right in front of me. I finally saw his face. My father. But, he looked ashamed of me. He turned away and left from disgrace from all the laughter. My own father, denying me. Why? Out of all the people, why?
We went to the Other Side. It was beautiful to see all those buildings and airplanes. Everything looked so tall and dominant. The skyscrapers touching the skies made me feel small. Everything was so technologically advanced. It was just like Linda said when she told me those stories. I turned to look at her and she was crying. I figured it was of happiness. Her face was full of tears and happiness. She finally was home. We finally arrived at a place where humans are born. Bernard told us to wait outside the door. On the way here, he promised me he would finally let me see my father. How long I awaited his presence. I finally get to see my father. After I while, I heard some yelling. It settled down not long after. He finally told us to come in. My father was standing right in front of me. I finally saw his face. My father. But, he looked ashamed of me. He turned away and left from disgrace from all the laughter. My own father, denying me. Why? Out of all the people, why?
Monday, April 22, 2013
Strange
So, yesterday was very strange. Lenina and Bernard went to the community celebration we usually have. Rituals to please Jesus Christ and the other Gods. She was amazed at the pounding of the drums. The way they sounded. She told Bernard that it reminded her of their Solidarity services and Ford's Day Celebrations. I don't know what that is, but, it must be amazing. Then, things started getting awry. She was yelling for them to stop. She was crying and bawling. Is our customs that strange to them? I mean, its just a sacrifice. I would give anything to be in his place. The tribe doesn't let me.
I talked to them for the first time. They were stunned by my ability to speak English. I interacted with them and told them about my past. About my mothers past. I told them who my mother was, how she ended up here, and who my father was. I told them all in details. I introduced them to my mother. Lenina looked disgusted. She came from the Other Side. She told them how she fell and hurt her ankle, and how she was rescued by the Indians. Bernard and Lenina looked shocked. But, somehow, Bernard knows what I feel. He understands how to be an outcast. He promised to take me and my mother to the Other Side. I cant wait! Finally, an opportunity to go outside and learn and explore!
I talked to them for the first time. They were stunned by my ability to speak English. I interacted with them and told them about my past. About my mothers past. I told them who my mother was, how she ended up here, and who my father was. I told them all in details. I introduced them to my mother. Lenina looked disgusted. She came from the Other Side. She told them how she fell and hurt her ankle, and how she was rescued by the Indians. Bernard and Lenina looked shocked. But, somehow, Bernard knows what I feel. He understands how to be an outcast. He promised to take me and my mother to the Other Side. I cant wait! Finally, an opportunity to go outside and learn and explore!
Thursday, April 18, 2013
Outcast
Today is a day like any other day. Most of the kids still treat me like an outcast. I'm too different. No one accepts me. They make fun of me because of what I am. But, I know I'm better than them. I know how to read, they don't. I know how to speak English. They can't. Still, the feeling of being alone is horrible.
They wont let me do their rituals of becoming a man. One of them is to stay inside a cave overnight. After that, you become a man. Sounds simple enough. But, they deny me the right to become one. They can't. They look down upon me. It's like, they are superior then I am. I'm superior. I know I am. I know I'm superior than them. I have more intelligence. They just don't understand. Or maybe, I don't understand...
Today, I met these people who come from that wonderful society, the Brave New World. Linda tells me all about how wonderful it is. How sweet smelling it is. How perfect it is. I wish I was there. I wish I could just leave this place and go there. Their names are Bernard and Lenina. Their reactions were different from each other. Bernard seemed fascinated by our way of life. He even found the idea of breast feeding a wonderful sight. Lenina on the other hand, found it repulsive. Her reactions were full of disgust. She found the idea of aging horrendous. I dont know why. I mean, its normal for people to age. To them, we seem like a bunch of savages.
They wont let me do their rituals of becoming a man. One of them is to stay inside a cave overnight. After that, you become a man. Sounds simple enough. But, they deny me the right to become one. They can't. They look down upon me. It's like, they are superior then I am. I'm superior. I know I am. I know I'm superior than them. I have more intelligence. They just don't understand. Or maybe, I don't understand...
Today, I met these people who come from that wonderful society, the Brave New World. Linda tells me all about how wonderful it is. How sweet smelling it is. How perfect it is. I wish I was there. I wish I could just leave this place and go there. Their names are Bernard and Lenina. Their reactions were different from each other. Bernard seemed fascinated by our way of life. He even found the idea of breast feeding a wonderful sight. Lenina on the other hand, found it repulsive. Her reactions were full of disgust. She found the idea of aging horrendous. I dont know why. I mean, its normal for people to age. To them, we seem like a bunch of savages.
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